The Mindset That Holds You Back: Hoping They Fail vs. Wanting to Be Better

Be honest: how many times have you secretly hoped your opponent would just… mess up?

It’s a common thought — especially when the pressure is on. In sports, we often find ourselves split between two mindsets:

🔴 “I hope they play badly, so I can win.”

🟢 “I want to play better than them, even if it’s tough.”

The first one feels safe. Comfortable.

The second one? It requires courage, effort, and responsibility.

Maybe you’re a young athlete who prayed the other team would have a bad day. Maybe you’re a parent who sighed from the stands: “Well, of course they won — the ref was clearly on their side.” Or maybe you’re a coach who’s heard every excuse under the sun.

The truth is simple: When we focus on others’ mistakes, we miss the chance to grow ourselves. We get stuck in the loop of blame and lose sight of what really matters: progress, not perfection.

In this article, we’ll explore:

• why hoping others fail is a dead-end mindset

• how common excuses hold athletes back

• what it truly means to “be better”

• and how to build the mindset of a true competitor

So grab your water bottle, your honesty, and maybe your sense of humor. Let’s talk mindset — the real MVP behind every performance.

The Two Opposing Mindsets

At some point, every athlete must choose which voice to listen to:

🔴 The “I hope they mess up” mindset

This one’s easy. It doesn’t require effort. It doesn’t require ownership. It simply relies on one thing: the other person doing worse than you.

“Maybe they’re tired.”

“Maybe they’ll miss that free throw.”

“Maybe their coach will bench them.”

And when you do win because of their mistakes — what do you feel?

A little joy… followed by nothing. Because deep down, you know: you didn’t win by being better. You just got lucky.

🧢 Funny: “He shot with the wrong foot in basketball. That’s how I won. I barely touched the ball — but hey, a win is a win, right?”

But here’s the catch: This mindset doesn’t make you grow. It just makes you wait… and hope… and blame.

🟢 The “I want to be better than them” mindset.

This one’s tougher — but it’s where champions are made.

You’re not hoping they fail. You’re focused on playing better. Even if they’re faster. Even if they have the cool gear. Even if the score isn’t in your favor.

🏀 Example: “I lost against the best player in the tournament. But I fought hard, stayed calm, and learned more in those 30 minutes than in a whole season.”

This is the mindset that builds confidence — because it’s based on what you do, not what happens around you.

📊 Let’s break it down:

❌ Hoping they fail	✅ Wanting to be better
Passive	Active
Short-term satisfaction	Long-term growth
Blame and excuses	Accountability and learning
Fear of effort	Motivation through challenge
Win by chance	Win through improvement

The good news?

👉 This mindset is trainable. Just like dribbling, sprinting, or setting screens. You don’t need fancy tools — just the courage to look in the mirror and ask: “How can I improve today?”

Top 10 Excuses That Hold Athletes Back

After a tough match, your brain often rushes to protect your ego.

Instead of saying, “I wasn’t focused today, ”it whispers, “It was the ref. The shoes. The sun. The moon.”

Let’s be real — athletes are creative. So here are 10 of the most iconic (and slightly ridiculous) excuses that keep young players from actually growing.

1. “The referee was on their side!” 🧑‍⚖️

The sports version of the saying "it's not my fault."

Referees make mistakes, yes. They're human. But when you've missed 5 layups and 3 simple passes, maybe you should look elsewhere before blaming the referee.

Funny comeback: “Right. The ref also tied your laces together and made you trip, huh?”

✅ Mindset fix: Referees are human. Focus on your reaction, not their whistle.

2. “It was too hot / too cold / too windy.” 🌦️

The weather has become the invisible coach that always confuses us. But strange, right? And the opponent played in the same heat.

Funny comeback: “Only ice cream melts at 22°C. You’re not dessert.”

✅ Mindset fix: Great athletes adapt. Don’t let the weather play for you.

3. “They came by train, we came with the slow one.” 🚂

Apparently, the speed of the train affects performance. But if you arrive on time, it's not the train that makes your game.

💬 Funny comeback: “Maybe the train was slow… but so was your defense.”

✅ Mindset fix: Your focus and energy matter more than your transportation.

4. “They had better gear / balls!” 🏀👟

This is one of the favorites of the modern generation. But the ball does not play alone and the shoes do not score baskets without trained feet.

Funny comeback: “Jordan won championships with average shoes. What’s your excuse?”

✅ Mindset fix: Equipment helps, but it doesn't hustle for you.

5. “Coach didn’t trust me enough.” 🧢

A sensitive but common excuse. When you're not playing as well as you'd like, it's easy to blame the coach. But have you ever asked why?

Funny comeback: “Maybe because you’ve been playing like a sleepy pillow?”

✅ Mindset fix: You don’t get minutes — you earn them.

6.“I wasn’t feeling well today.” 😴

Sometimes it's real. Sometimes it's just a lack of motivation. But if you don't say anything and you play poorly, how can the team help you?

Funny comeback: “Did you tell someone? Or just wait for them to read your vibes?”

✅ Mindset fix: Speak up and adjust. Showing up is powerful — even at 70%.

7. “I didn’t have time to train.” ⏰

Time is everyone's problem. But what did you do instead of working out? Did you watch 12 episodes of a series?

💬 Funny comeback: “You had time for TikToks, though…”

✅ Mindset fix: Training doesn’t need to be long. Just consistent.

8. “They were taller / bigger than us.” 🏗️

A classic of youth sports. Yes, height helps. But so does concentration, speed, courage and... smart passes.

💬 Funny comeback: “We’re not measuring ceilings. We’re playing a game.”

✅ Mindset fix: When the opponent has a physical advantage, you can come with a mental advantage: good positioning, defensive communication, team play and a fighter's attitude. David beat Goliath. And he didn't even have a coach.

9. “It was too noisy in the gym!” 🔊

The reality is... in sports, silence is a luxury. If you want to play in the final, there's going to be noise. A lot. Sometimes even from your parents. 😅

💬 Funny comeback: “What did you expect — silence and candles?”

✅ Mindset fix: Learn to focus in chaos. Noise is normal. Growth is optional.

10. “They trash-talked me and got in my head.” 😠

Trash talk is part of the sport. It's not fair, but it happens. What do you do then? Do you react or show them that you're on top?

💬 Funny comeback: “You’re here to play, not to collect compliments.”

✅ Mindset fix: Stay calm. Respond with your game, not your mouth.

🧠 Truth bomb:

Excuses are soft pillows. Comfortable. Familiar. But they do nothing to build strong athletes.

You can’t grow while pointing fingers.

Let go of the excuses. Pick up responsibility. And watch yourself improve faster than ever.

Excuses may seem like shields. But they are actually obstacles.

They protect you for the moment, but they hold you back. Do you want to grow? Then leave the excuses in the locker room and go out on the field with one thought: "Today I want to be better than I was yesterday."

What It Really Means to Be Better Than Your Opponent

Let’s clear something up.

🛑 Being better than your opponent does not mean humiliating them.

🛑 It does not mean hoping they fail so you can sneak a win.

🛑 And it definitely does not mean bragging when you win because the other team played badly.

Being better means something much deeper — and much more powerful.

✅ Being better means:

• Staying focused, even when they play dirty

• Staying calm, even when you're down by 10

• Giving your full effort, even when you know you might lose

• Learning something from the match, even if you didn’t win it

🏀 Real example:

A young player lost badly in a tournament. But he hustled for every ball, kept his head up, supported his teammates, and thanked the ref at the end. He didn’t leave with a trophy — but he earned the respect of everyone watching.

That’s being better. That’s a champion’s mindset — with or without the win.

🧠 Key reflection:

“Do I want to win… or do I want to grow?”

Winning is fun. Of course it is. But if you only chase victory, you’ll give up the moment it gets hard. Those who chase growth?

They win. Eventually. And more than once.

💬 Bottom line:

The real competition isn’t against your opponent. It’s against who you were yesterday.

If today’s version of you is stronger, wiser, calmer and more focused —then congratulations.

You’re winning already.

How to Build a Healthy Mindset

You don’t wake up one day with a champion mindset. It’s not something you’re born with. It’s something you build — just like your free throws, your stamina, or your defense.

And the best part?It’s free. No gym membership required. Just honesty, curiosity, and consistency.

🧠 Start with better questions:

After every practice, every match, every moment that matters — ask yourself:

• What did I do well today?

• What could I have done better?

• How did I react when things didn’t go my way?

• Did I learn anything from this experience?

• What will I try differently next time?

📓 These questions are better than any scoreboard. Because they help you measure growth, not just wins.

✍️ Try this simple habit: The No-Excuse Journal

At the end of each week, write down:

1. One thing I’m proud of

2. One excuse I used

3. What I’ll do next time instead of that excuse

It doesn’t have to be fancy. Just real. Just yours.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 For parents and coaches:

Be mindful of the questions you ask young athletes.

Instead of:❌ “Did you win?”

Try:

✅ “How did you feel about your effort?”

✅ “What did you learn today?”

✅ “What are you proud of from this game?”

These questions help them develop resilience, not anxiety.

💬 Reminder for every athlete:

You’re not weak for making mistakes. You’re only weak if you refuse to learn from them.

Mistakes are part of the process.

But excuses?

Those are optional.

Final Message: Champions Don’t Wish for Mistakes — They Work for Growth

At the end of the day, here’s the truth:

🟥 Hoping others mess up might get you a win.

🟩 But wanting to grow will get you a career.

Because real athletes don’t sit around waiting for others to play badly. They show up, every single day, to become better — no matter what the scoreboard says.

💥 So ask yourself:

• Are you looking for someone to blame?

• Or are you looking for ways to improve?

If the answer is the second one — congratulations. You're already ahead of 90% of your competition.

🙌 Call to action:

Share this article with an athlete, a coach, or a parent who wants more than excuses.More than results. More than blame.

Because someday, the match will end. But your mindset? That’s what stays with you.

🔚 Bonus for the brave:

Write in a comment or journal:

"What was the last excuse I made to myself?"…and turn it into: "What can I do differently next time?"